I think one of the reasons I’ve avoided filling the blank page, is because it’s a metaphor for the uncertainty that has been my life as of late. With 6 weddings attended in 2008 and well wishes given to just as many engagements this year, there was a part of me that has been afraid of foraging too much of my own path, for it gets lonely being a still drunk and single gal in this fair, yet fading city. Being 6 years out of the feminist commune, the only lessons I have taken to heart have been the ones that my children’s author commencement speaker forgot to include in her send-off to her near alma-mater:
Everyone is a closeted drunk, but grown-ups hide behind the terms “full calendar” “work events” and “oenophile”
Everyone is just as miserable as you are with the monotony of their lives.
There was this part of me that wanted to love the mundane so much, that it actually back-fired. The lull of stability quietly convinced me to love the professional day: up at 7:30am, office by 8:45pm, gym by 6:30pm, extra-curricular/professional activity- rinse with cold water and repeat. Maybe that is the sign of a perpetually drunk single gal, my forbidden is boredom, tedium and long stretches of sobriety. What the squares wont tell you, is that stability is only as strong as your commitment to it. Once you start to interrupt the rhythm with ex-sex, fortnight booze binges, and apathy to the things that acted as the cornerstones of your disingenuous life, stability, you realize, is only as stable as things that fashioned it in the first place.
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